In our personal, social, work, academic, and recreational lives we happen to bond with people whose relationship means a great deal that builds the network of acquaintances connecting society in the frame of mutual and direct kinship.
In the life rollercoaster you experience success, failure,moments of happiness and the inevitable sadness caused by the type of any loss it could be either way your asset or a loved one. In such a terrible turn of event, having the company of those in your life circle is not only helpful but also empowering to lift up your broken spirit. It is the love and care of the beloved ones that plays a very important part in the undergoing conditions. It is not the Vacations, islands, beaches, skyscrapers or parks, but what sure warmens the heart is the presence of family, friends and colleagues at that specific time.
Being sensitive to someone at a time of loss is not only the humane, mature, mindful thing to do, but it also builds tremendous loyalty. People who feel treated with care will have another reason to love. Many just don’t know what to do, even though they are well meaning. Every death triggers one’s own losses and awareness of mortality. People who are grieving a death need acknowledgement of the event, and connection, to avoid feeling isolated. They shouldn’t be told stuff like; everything will be fine, or it is for the best, or i know how you feeling, or the offer of is there anything i can do where the very annoying phrase could go as “how are you”. but rather would feel a little relaxed or different with a simple phone call or a voice message like; “I just heard about your ……. death. I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you today/this week.” phone call Phone call is best because the person can hear your voice. An Email is too impersonal. Letters take too long to get there and Texting might be appropriate if you already have a text relationship with that person. Sitting with them briefly and acknowledging the loss, and waiting to see if the person wants to talk is a better approach to which Waiting silently is a key factor. You can also seek tips on what to say from other trusted adults, friends or elders from the family.
Keep in mind that not everything you do or say cannot be very expecting to take care of the cirumstances. Put yourself in that person shoe and just be aware of your own discomfort with death or past losses, and accept it – then be present for the person who has had the loss. small gestures such as Invitation to lunch, Bringing coffee, Sending flowers, Sending “thinking of you” emails
Stopping by their place for five minutes are very meaningful and do convey caring concern. As per my personal experience in muslim community, siblings and relatives of the family of the deceased person come togethee and mourn their loss together. They cook their meal, cut their woods and clean their house for them for three days. Their presence continues in the course of time, the fridays of the week until the 40th day and also the marking of the first year of the departured member. There are people to sit and hug and give shoulder for them to cry on with enormous amount of love and care to make them feel psycokogically better. They stay with them up late until midnight to share stories and honor the death of the beloved one that really helps the family giving them a little vibes and support in those harsh hours of their lives.
In the work place or schools colleagues/classmates come together and show respect and support to the sibling of the deceased one by reciting few verses of holy quran and sending out their prayers and blessings to him/her and her family. The attitude and behavior changes with a more careful manner of not hurting the grieving person which continues for a week or longer until the person has recovered from sorrow and come out of the dumps.
The most helpful step you can take to comfort a grieving person is to sit with them and listen to them carefully without minimizing their loss, and allow them to cry and shed tears and talk about how it happened with a careful concentration, Acknowledgement of their loss, and reminding them that their loved one won’t be forgotten.