So you’re upset, angry and heartbroken? you can’ stand that person when seen around or can’t deal with the fact how quickly they changed and found themelves on the otherside? you are feeling completely down the drain because you have been cheated on by that garbage trash? alright, now it is time for you to fully dump it in the dumpster. because they are not worth your thoughts, space and time to waste thinking on which keeps you away from tons of opportunities that have opened its doors to your face. how long actually are you going to ignore the fact, until when? imagine you walk into a garden and pick up a rose as you’re treking and somehow in the middle of the way the thorns hurt you and make your finger bleed, are you going to sit and cry about it or just try putting a bandage on the injured area and move on? lost relationships are like minor injuries, the more you rub it…the bigger the size of the wound would get.. so think about it. look in the mirror, know your values and count those wonderful accomplishments you’ve made. that beauty, and sexiness you bear…hell it’s their loss, yes theirs. there are billions of people waiting for you outside that you need to walk out and chose the perfect one for yourself. rememeber, do not go after the cheat for they will destroy you. turn that frown upside down, shake that thing off and groom a little of your appearance, change your attitude and step into the lattitude.
There are some phases of adjusments after the cheat.
The first phase could be an extreme nervous breakdown and anger where you are feeling lost and sad and betrayed at the same time after you find it out for the first time. the best thing you can do is go face to face with the person in private and explain your emotions and feelings about the betryal. break up with that person and never accept any offer of remaining friends. join a club and share your grief with your friends who truly care about you. do exercise and take out your anger while working out through a good healthy process of the deep inhaling and exhaling activity. listen to songs that makes you feel good not the sad love songs. go to an abandoned area like woods or mountain and cry as much as you can with the promise of never falling for it again. sing songs and write your story short on a piece of paper giving yourself credits. sign a health contract with yourself of remaining calm, good and moving on and list some good tasks that you need to carry out. do not see that person, just in case you see them – ignoring is a good option. smile and talk to people in front of them, it kills them as they will be reminded of a great loss . make yourself busy of learning another new language and make friends with people from that origins. these are actually the activties you can perform in order to get over the cheated relationship. works great.
The second phase is a little tricky
with the cheater attempting to ask for forgiveness and comes up with the warnings of not coming clear unless you forgive them. it is up to you, be smart and weigh the fact before you forgive and run back to that person. some do that as well or be stuck on the issue of deceit, unable to trust their partner’s word any longer. Although it is painful, the only way out is through it. if you have a feeling of the possibility of being cheated on again, then don’t. Healing will not begin until the cheater is willing and capable of listening, responding honestly (every single time), demonstrating that they have a deep understanding of what they did and how they hurt their partner. Forgiveness must be earned not given freely just to get over it.
The third and the last phase is your firm and concrete decision on whether to stay with the person or move onto your life affairs.
Some stay, choosing to learn and grow from it. Some stay together but never heal or forgive or trust. If they choose to grow and deepen their connection they may some day be secretly grateful that it was the wake up call they needed. The decision to stay or leave can be complicated. We all like to say “I would never put up with that!” A zero tolerance policy, however, is difficult to follow through on when your heart and the history you may share are involved. Good approach is that a great deal depends on how willing a cheater is to accept full responsibility on a long term basis, it relies on the contract that the both of you need to sign either verbally or written. It goes without saying that if the cheating continues or the dishonesty and secrets are still there, the relationship is technically over and it’s time to move on. Triangles do not work. If the third party is in the picture, even in your partner’s mind, it is time to quit. Victims in the triangle are often left waiting and hoping they will be the one chosen, demeaning themselves and missing the point – that it is not about love at all. In this scenario, the cheater can’t commit and will not be present in any relationship. It is about self centeredness and having a partner that will always be looking for something better.
You do not need to linger on and wait with the hope of becoming your cheats last option and the flase imaginations of their return. rememeber that it is you who is in charge of your happiness. you shouldn’t allow that repeating and it is you to either walk freely and happily out of it and find the right person or remain the victim suffering from the continous punishments you’ve been receiving. there is a probable chance of the cheat trying their way to get back to you through different approaches of pushing in the matter through an adult or someone elses inteference. Best you can do is to dig deep and figure out what it is that you want out of life. Start focusing on you and your needs and leave all of the extra sh** behind you. Take as much time as you need in order to get back into the swing of things. Explore and enjoy yourself with things that make you happy. be prepared for another authentic, honest and right date. love everyone but don’t trust that everyone will be perfect. And at the end; smile, think positive and meditate much because the world is yours..